Throwback to all these Jesus comics I drew in 2012…
Good post OP
Good post, OP, and if you ever decide to do another may I please suggest “NOT IN HEBREW IT DOESN’T” as a punchline? So much of the Old Testament is HORRIFICALLY translated from the Tanakh, it drives me batty.
WAIT WAIT WHAT DOES IT SAY?????? I NEED TO LIKE,, DESTROY MI MUM FOR BEING REALLY HOMOPHOBIC
Okay, so, strictly speaking, the infamous Leviticus 18:22 does say “forbidden.” Here’s the thing:
1) The word translated as “forbidden” is “toevah.” While that translation isn’t … wrong, it’s sort of like saying “McMansion” means “really big house.” There are a lot of connotations in that word. The specific issue with toevah is that we … sort of … don’t know anymore exactly what it meant. Based on context, it seems likely that the word referred to something ritually forbidden. This part of Torah was written not only as a guide for future generations, but also to say “so, look around, see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT.“ Thus, if we interpret “toevah” to mean something that’s forbidden to do as a ritual before G-d, then the verse says nothing whatsoever about Adam and Steve and their two kids and their dog–it’s saying you shouldn’t have sex with another man in the Temple as a sacrifice.
2) Following the same “this is ritually forbidden” logic of toevah, this verse may also be interpreted as “don’t do sex magic,” which was a thing in. Like. A lot of fucking cultures at the time.
3) Hebrew is a highly gendered language, and the grammatical gender in this verse is really really weird. One of the “men” in this verse is given female grammar. Why? Who fucking knows, man, this isn’t the only grammatical oddity in Torah. (There are also places where G-d is referred to as plural, and also as female.) One suggestion is that this is a way of creating a diminutive–that is, that the verse should be read as “a man should not lie with a boy.”Now, it’s worth noting that modern secular scholarship has concluded the written Torah was written down around the 6th century BCE, and most non-Orthodox Jewish scholars are like “yeah, all things considered, that sounds pretty legit.”
Do you know what else was happening around the 6th century BCE? What laypeople tend to mean when they say “ancient Greece” was happening.
Do you know what happened a lot in that time period in Greece? Dudes forming relationships with younger boys, like ages 10-15, and using them for sex in exchange for financial gifts, mentorship, etc. While we don’t know just how young some of these younger boys may have been, we do know some were prepubescent. In light of this, and also something I mentioned under the first point–”see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT,” if this verse is interpreted to say “a man should not lie with a boy,” then it’s pretty clearly “my dudes, my fellows, my lads, don’t be fucking pedophiles.”
4) Because of the grammar I mentioned in #3, it’s also possible that “should not lie with a man as with a woman” is actually referring to a place, not an abstract personhood: a man shouldn’t have sex with another man in a woman’s bed. In the time period, a woman’s bed was sort of like–that was her place, her safe sanctuary. It was also a ritually holy place where babies were made. By having sex in her bed, you’re violating her safe space (and also introducing a man who may not be a male relative, thus forcing her into breaking the laws of modesty). If this verse is read this way, then it should be taken to mean “don’t sexually violate a woman’s safety and modesty.”
5) And as an offshoot of #4, this may be a second verse relating to infidelity. Which woman’s bed is any random dude in 600 BCE most likely to have access to? His wife’s. But laws were administered differently based on whether the person they pertained to was slave or free, male or female, and so on–thus, a man committing adultery with a woman would be treated differently than man committing adultery with a man (especially because the latter would carry no chance of an illegitimate pregnancy).
So you’ll note, there are a lot of ways to read this verse, and only a one-to-one translation with no cultural awareness produces “being gay is wrong, all of the time”.
(You’ll also notice the word “abomination” is nowhere to be found. That’s like … a straight-up fiction created for who only knows what reason.)
Apparently tumblr mobile doesn’t want to show @prismatic-bell ’s long and in-depth essay, so here’s the screenshots, because it still shows up on mobile browsers:
Much appreciated.
I love when scholarship and history debunks bullshit
…I sadly have more bullshit to report.
“removed for violating guidelines”, EVERY screenshot.
…goddamnit
Let’s try this again
I am horrified that @prismatic-bell keeps getting censored + this info is gold.
Many thanks, @pulmonary-poultry. This isn’t the only Jewish post of mine that’s mysteriously stopped showing up in searches and/or vanished from my blog entirely, but it is the one I get the most requests to repost, so this saves me from having to rewrite the whole damned essay. @the-invisible-self, thanks for bringing it to my attention that someone was able to preserve the post!
can someone explain the alignment chart for me but in like, the simplest wording possible lmao
lawful good: i want to do the right thing, and following society’s rules is the best way to do that
neutral good: i want to do what’s right, and i’m willing to bend or break the rules as long as no one gets hurt
chaotic good: i’m willing to do whatever it takes as long as it’s to do the right thing
lawful neutral: following the rules of society is the most important thing, and that matters more to me than doing what’s right
true neutral: i just want myself and the people i care about to be happy
chaotic neutral: i want my freedom, and i don’t care what i have to do to keep it
lawful evil: to impede the protagonists (in whatever evil way) is my primary goal, but i follow my own code of morals even when it’s inconvenient
neutral evil: to impede the protagonists (in whatever evil way) is the my primary goal, and while i’ll do what it takes to achieve it, i also won’t go out of my way to do unnecessary damage
chaotic evil: i relish in destruction and want to do as much damage as possible while i try to achieve my primary goal
Here is a handy visual guide I made a while back. Part of my intention was to show the variety of ways that each of the alignments can be represented:
You can see/reblog my original posts here, here, and here.
Bitch is the god of feasts, he’s got chub, he’s got meat. Aphrodite is the god of romance and love but dionysus is the god of sex and orgies, he is ideal cuddling density, dude HAS a tummy.
Dude has broad shoulders and beefy arms for holding and protecting you and just the fattest most luscious ass and thighs you’ve ever seen
All I’m imagining is that one bro at the gym who’s extra thick and has a big waste and could be a couch in and of himself but like would totally be able to lift a whole damn cow if you asked.
This supposedly has to do with the fact that the original Celts were Iberian and their ancestors migrated across the strait of Gibraltar from Africa. The red-haired and pale look typically associated with Celtic identity likely comes from admixture from Germanic peoples. Remember that everyone’s ancestors came from Africa if you go far back enough.
Evidence of this phenotype can still be seen in some people today, particularly those from Wales and other western coastal regions. For example:
Welsh presenter Alex Jones
Welsh footballer Chris Coleman
Welsh actress Catherine Zeta-Jones who can notably pass for Hispanic.
English actor Ian McShane
It’s important to note that none of these people are immigrants or descended from immigrants. They all come from families native to the British Isles.
The take-home message here is A) don’t ever let anyone tell you British = pale and B) this
may actually be one of the most accurate versions of Guinevere we’ve seen so far.
This post is hard to find because Tumblr hates links so I’m giving it a boost.
This is so cool, because tartan patterns were originally family symbols. Almost every Scottish clan has a unique one. Even my family has one. It’s like saying LGBT+ is a family, one you can belong to even if your blood family doesn’t accept you.
Um, I'mma need a kilt in this tartan like YESTERDAY.
I just want to add in here that specific tartan patterns being associated with a family or clan is a somewhat recent phenomenon. Long before that it was a matter of personal taste and an expression of social/economic status. The more colours you had in your tartan, the richer you were. Certain dyes were also difficult and expensive to obtain. You didn’t have red unless you were very wealthy and powerful, and you definitely didn’t have purple unless you were richer than god.
This is basically the fanciest, most extravagant tartan imaginable. If you went back in time to like medieval Scotland wearing this everyone would lose their minds.
The only thing you check for is if someone else already asked for PTO in the same slot. That’s it.
My department fell apart 2 weeks ago when I took my PTO. we were already short handed, someone quit at the start of the week, and there was literally nobody to even call in to cover, so they were fucked. But that’s on corporate for refusing to hire enough people. That’s on corporate for thinking we need no overlap in our shifts, no midday people . That’s not my fault that I needed a specific week off, or even if I just WANTED it off. Businesses know what they need to do, it’s not on me to make things easy for a billion dollar corporation that doesn’t even give a shit about my store.
Word of advice kids: Don’t take workplace advice from someone who uses Scrooge McDuck lighting a cigar with a bank note as their user icon.
All this site ever talks about are Italian Grandmas, where’s the appreciation for my Italian Found Grandpas?
I got two neighbours in their 70s and 80s respectively and they’ve both taken a wild interest in my orchard because they both used to plant stuff and now they’re living vicariously through mine, checking on progress, helping out, trying to teach me stuff except most of the time they have wildly different opinions on how to spot bastard branches on tomato plants and I’m living for the drama
We were plowing the field today when one of them asked me why I didn’t have a boyfriend when I’m already 25 and I went “Men are trouble”, you know, like a lesbian, and he just stopped for a second, thought then dipped his hat. “Now, that is true” where else would I get this?
Update, Found Grandpas now planning my future marriage like an heist.
“You like fieldwork, you need to marry the son of a landowner. Lots of land, lots of cultivation. Done! You’re set for life!”
“But he must be dumb.”
“Oh yeah, dumb like a wood plank. So dumb you can do whatever you want.”
“we don’t have girl talk, we have creature talk,” my roommate Julia just said while rolling on the floor, “put that on your fucking tumblr, they’ll love that shit”
she just asked how many notes this post has and I told her eighteen and with restrained glee she said “this is going to do horrible things to my ego”
I’m out of town rn but I told her this broke 500 notes and sent her some of yall’s tags
Hey op why is the contact icon a T if their name is Julia? *condescending tone* do you have your roommate saved as “trash” in your phone?
disney built the biggest and most expensive animatronic ever in their history and then built a mountain around it and it BROKE a couple of months after the ride opened and it’s impossible to fix it without dismantling the entire mountain structure and that’s honestly the most hilarious verified disney fact™
ever
the second most hilarious being that the chum animatronic on the finding nemo ride at epcot used to pop out of the barrel to scare guests but one time a cast member was walking past it during an opening/closing procedure and it popped out and smacked them clean in the face so now it’s turned off permanently
TL/DR version: the structural layout of the Expedition Everest attraction is so complicated that Disney had to use a technique called “previsualisaton” to construct it - essentially a four-dimensional blueprint that specifies not only how the structure should be put together, but the exact point in time that each step should occur. That precision in timing is actually kinda critical, because if certain parts of the structure are subject to stress too early (e.g., before the concrete is fully cured, before additional supports have been installed, etc.), they’ll be permanently weakened.
Well, long story short, when the ride went into action, Disney’s engineers quickly discovered that the numbers weren’t adding up: the internal stresses the ride was producing every time they turned the animatronic yeti on were literally tearing the whole mountain apart. It’s clear that something got screwed up during construction: either somebody performed a step with the wrong timing, or in the wrong order, or the previsualisaton was messed up to begin with. The trick is, they have no idea what the actual error was - and the ride can’t be repaired until they figure out what went wrong in the first place.
So now they just point a moving strobe light at the motionless yeti to create the illusion of motion, which is why it’s been nicknamed the “disco yeti”.
When companies have too much money and need to chill
here’s an example of what the yeti looked like when it actually worked.
yo uhhhh thats fucking terrifying
THE YETI IS AMAZING and I so badly wish I could have seen it action. (Disco Yeti is my friend tho)
But this is a very important point.
The yeti is not broken.
The yeti works perfectly. But due to some calculation error
They can’t turn the yeti ON or else he’ll tear down the mountain.
So now their biggest and most impressive animatronic ever gets strobe lights flashed at it so your eye is tricked into thinking it moves.
Anonymous Asks:
pollydoodles Said:
